Termites ate my Diploma
Yep. Came back from the research trip up North to continue clearing out my office space downtown. I'd placed my Diploma, framed nicely, on the floor near the corner out of the way in case "something were to happen to it" while I consolidated things for the move. P{aid $50 bucks for it, a replacement for the original, which was MIA long ago. $50 bucks to get a replacement from NYU, as if they hadn't already taken enough of my money!
Anyway, found that termites had invaded the framed glass, had eaten through the dimploma itself in many places, so it now resembles an old pirate map or Civil War battlefied document. Needless to say, I can no longer use it to try to get teaching work, soi now wil lhave to shell out another $50 to the good old Alma Mater for another one.
Took the frame outside, broke the glas swith a brick in the garbage basket, and lifted out the remains of the diploma...an army of fat white Cambodian termites, rejoicing at their unexpected imported treat of fine paper, were running in colums along the edge of the frame.
I smashed the frame , kicking it savagely with my boot, then shook off all the termites.
They fell to the flat tiled driveway, where roaming ants rushed to gather them. Saw one small ant, not even as big as a Diploma-eating termite, run off with one wriggling in its jaws.
Aww, f*ck it. That's just entropy anyway, things coming and going. Why, we all have termites eating away at something as we speak. My Diploma, today, is just a turning curl in the Big Bang, whooshing itself out in the form of a termite feast.
Of course, no explanation will convince NYU to waive the $50 bucks for a new Diploma, I can gurantee you that. That fifty bucks is a thing of this earth, a device of men to wield their way 'long the turning earth, as long as they still can.
Anyway, found that termites had invaded the framed glass, had eaten through the dimploma itself in many places, so it now resembles an old pirate map or Civil War battlefied document. Needless to say, I can no longer use it to try to get teaching work, soi now wil lhave to shell out another $50 to the good old Alma Mater for another one.
Took the frame outside, broke the glas swith a brick in the garbage basket, and lifted out the remains of the diploma...an army of fat white Cambodian termites, rejoicing at their unexpected imported treat of fine paper, were running in colums along the edge of the frame.
I smashed the frame , kicking it savagely with my boot, then shook off all the termites.
They fell to the flat tiled driveway, where roaming ants rushed to gather them. Saw one small ant, not even as big as a Diploma-eating termite, run off with one wriggling in its jaws.
Aww, f*ck it. That's just entropy anyway, things coming and going. Why, we all have termites eating away at something as we speak. My Diploma, today, is just a turning curl in the Big Bang, whooshing itself out in the form of a termite feast.
Of course, no explanation will convince NYU to waive the $50 bucks for a new Diploma, I can gurantee you that. That fifty bucks is a thing of this earth, a device of men to wield their way 'long the turning earth, as long as they still can.
